This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
