I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
