Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
