i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
