Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
