Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
