ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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