i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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