She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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