these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
