The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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