Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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