Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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