we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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