That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
