My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
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He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
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I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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