I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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