so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
