I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
vagina is talking i cant
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
