Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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