I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize