I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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