Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
