She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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