im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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