i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
