If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize