I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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