i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize