i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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