I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
