She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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