I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize