Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
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so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
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why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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