Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
