I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
