Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
