Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
