That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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