And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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