with your own penis?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
