So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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