at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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