My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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