Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
