Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
