I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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