And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
