I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Do vagina's smell?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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