So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
