The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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