it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
