I wish I could punch you in the face.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
