i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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