Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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